Painful Lesson Learned

Last Wednesday I started everything sugar free.  It was hard and my mood swings started to get pretty awful.  There is sugar in everything, everything, everything...  It was overwhelming to start the process but I read through the meal plans I was given and dove in.  I made the trips to the grocery store and got all the stuff.  Even the kids were talking about healthy food.  (But they obviously didn't get it when Kaitlin brought me a box of gummies and said "these are healthy" and dropped them into the cart).  Gotta love her, shes always trying to get something by me.  So for 4 days I ate well, no sugar, lots of veggies etc.  Then I had a craptastic Friday and Saturday and something in me snapped.

Ive always known that I am an emotional eater.  When things are shitty (sorry about the language Dr Patti!) i tend to head for the refrigerator and look for something creamy and sweet to eat.  This hasn't changed.  By Saturday night I had eaten 6 mini brownies and had 2 cokes.  I had no willpower!  I was just expecting to feel the same satisfaction that I used to feel when I would eat that way when things were bad.  But the thing is it never came.  I just felt guilty and yucky, and disappointed in myself.  I had gone 1 month without having soda and in the blink of an eye I had consumed 2 and basically wasted all of my efforts from the past month. 
By Sunday morning I felt even worse.  Mentally I was the same, just disappointed but physically I was sick.  My stomach hurt, i couldn't stay out of the bathroom and I was so bloated.  Who knew that even after just a couple of days of getting this stuff out of my system putting it back in would be so painful?  Lesson learned!!!  Painful lesson learned.  But a good lesson learned.  I need to find a different outlet for my emotional eating.  Not sure what that is yet, but at least I'm aware of it. 

By Monday I was back on track but it took until Tuesday night for me to finally feel better.  I find it amazing how the body works....I've been eating sugar all my life but with just 4 days without it my body was already feeling more healthy. 

I know this road is long and hard and there will be times when I will make a wrong decision.  But the lessons learned will only help me get stronger.