Motivation Needed

Do you ever just feel like everything is coming down around you and you don't know what to do?  Or how you will ever get through it all?  While I'm working on making these changes for my health, other areas of my life are crashing down around me and I seriously feel like I'm drowning.  And being overwhelmed with the other stuff has caused me to lose some of my motivation for my healthy changes.  There is only so much of me to go around and I feel helpless because of it. After getting laid off last year I sank into a "funk" of sorts.  Just feeling hopeless and as my unemployment dragged on it got worse.  All in all I was without a job for a little over a year and mentally and financially it took its toll on me and my family.  We struggled to pay the kids tuition, we struggled to buy the groceries, we struggled to pay our mortgage and we fell behind on a lot of these things.  Now I am back to work, but we still struggle daily.  When does it end?  When do we catch up?  I am so completely tired of worrying about our finances.  Will we lose our house?  Do we need to pull the kids out of preschool?  We just got paid last week, how can we already be overdrawn?  And we don't get paid until next Friday.  Its a losing battle and I am losing the motivation to keep trying and fighting.  Why can't I get it together?  Too bad I can just come across some cash somewhere, you know like in the movies....nothing like real life.  Now I need to figure out how to come up with $2k this week.  God, I feel like a loser.

So with all of that going on in my head I'm finding it hard to wrap myself around anything else.  But I know that I need to work on the healthy lifestyle.  This week the plan is go to sugar free.  We eat way too much sugar everyday.  And not just in candy and sweets, we eat a lot of processed sugar in our food.  The thought is very overwhelming though, how do you cut it all out?  My doctors are both great leaders for me and they have helped me out so much with meal plans and the things I need to succeed in this endeavour.  I just need to remember that I can do it.

Sorry about the money rant in the first paragraph, but it consumes 99% of my thoughts and it effects my motivation for a lot of other things.

Milestone:  1 month without soda, so far its good, although I do still crave it from time to time.