Last night we had our neighbors over for a BBQ. Two families live down the street and they both have kids and we have fun when we all get together. And although we get together regularly they don't know much about me. I was having a conversation with Scott and he was asking me about my past: high school, college etc. It was fun reliving the older days. That's when he asked me "so when did you change?" "What do you mean?" I asked. "Well now you are so quiet and reserved. You obviously used to have a wild side and were outgoing. So when did that change?" was his response. My response was "when I got married and had kids."
I've been thinking about that question since he asked it. And I think its funny he asked since I just started this whole journey thing. I guess I changed when I got married, I mean I was no longer single so I had no reason to be going out to bars or hitting the single scene. And then when you become a mother suddenly there are things in your past that you don't think would be the best things for your kids to know. But to become quiet and reserved? I guess I didn't realize that was the perception people had of me, the ones who didn't know me "back in the day".
But that also makes sense. Since I don't really like me these days I try to be invisible in most social situations. It made me sad though, I'm a fun person and outgoing and those new in my life have no idea. I'm glad he asked me those questions, it was really eye-opening. And now its also something to work on.
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